I’d wish I don’t sound like an evil person but at some point, when I look at you, I kinda have mixed feelings. Part of me feels that I should let everything go and wish you well, part of me still resents you to the very core. How you used to say hurtful things to me after breaking up with me isn’t something to be erased easily from my memory, I am human, we are given the ability to remember, as much as I wanna forget, I can’t.

Hence, whenever I see yourself writing those miserable status on your Facebook with broken English, I asked myself, should I pity this fucker? And then the devil in me popped out and stabbed me with his trident and said, “You know what? Think back of how you’re hurt, how you had sleepless nights!”, I complied.

Sometimes it’s really difficult for me to put things behind and say oh well, let’s be friends. One minute I think it’s ok to speak to you like we’re normal friends, but when those shitty memories hit me, I felt as if I’m engulfed in flames! I just… Refused to see how you will be happy again.

My current lover told me to let things go, yes, I’m slowly letting things get behind me. I don’t wish you to die anymore, I try to forgive you but I’m sorry to say this, whenever you display your disappointment in life and how people are ill- treating you, I really smirked.

I want to say what goes around comes around but erm… Nope, I still wait for you to get into a relationship. The day someone shatters your heart like how you did to me is the day I will totally forgive you. This is not a karma yet, people can call me names and stuff but I strongly believe that heartbreakers should be punished.

Moral of the story is, don’t you ever ever take things for granted. Like I always say, if you’re the type who thinks committing in a relationship is a difficult thing, please do not get into one for the sake of having the thrill of it. Because when you hurt someone badly, it’s even more difficult to mend that broken heart again, what do you think you can do to fix the whole situation? And you seriously think an apology is going  to solve everything?

They say drink responsibly, I say love responsibly.

It is equivalent to a torture for people who live in the modern world like now, no? It’s like every single day you have to be able to get online, checking your emails, blog about something you came across, chit-chat with your friends, see what your friends are up to on Facebook, tell your friends what you’re up to on Twitter and the list goes on…

Sometimes you’d be surprised that even when you log onto the internet and there’s nothing much for you to do, you still like the feeling of being able to get online! It’s like an addiction already, well I am giving examples like these because a day without the internet actually got me almost dying.

Normally it’s my parents who will make payments but they forgot to pay for this month’s bill so I am not able to get online. If I was a little wiser, I would have upgraded my mobile data plan to the Digi (a Malaysian Telco) Unlimited Internet Plan the day before I depart to my hometown, so that in times of “emergency” like this, I would be able to surf the net through my cellphone.

But the problem is that it’s gonna take them 24 hours to enable myself to use the unlimited plan, otherwise if I insist to get online before 24 hours is up, I’ll be charged at 10 cent every 10kb. My previous bill had proven to me that I need to subscribe to the unlimited plan because I used to think that it was extremely pointless to do so. After all, I can use the wifi connection on my cellphone, but after these observations, I felt that it’s quite beneficial if I sign up for the unlimited plan. Here’s why:

• I only use the data plan on my mobile when I’m out and there’s no way for me to get the wifi connection. I thought 10 cents per 10kb isn’t expensive, after all I’m only browsing the sites in MOBILE versions but when it all adds up, it’s not cheap anymore. For example, each time I load a page on mobile Facebook, it takes 10kb. Not to mention I will click on ‘read more’ to see what my other friends are saying. Hence, it all accumulates without me realizing it. When my bill arrived, I was shocked when I saw myself using almost 50 bucks on GPRS. And the Unlimited Internet Plan allows me to use the internet WHENEVER I want for only RM58 per month, I’d say it’s worthy.

• Though many cafés provides wifi services, not every connection is stable, I’ll be glad whenever I can detect wireless connections but most of the time I’m let down when I kept seeing notifications like ‘network timeout’ and shits.

• When my home connection is down or is cut off temporarily, my cellphone can be used as a modem to get online too.

Therefore I have decided that this is a good decision. As I am typing this entry, I have not heard of any bad reviews yet about the connection, till I have experienced it will I be able to write a proper review about the Unlimited Plan, so that people are aware of the pros and cons of the service.

As I’m typing this entry, it’s already the 4th day of Chinese New Year, ask me if I’m even excited about this? To be honest, I will tell you how happy I feel if this was asked 8 years ago. Now? Sorry, the only reason why it’s fun is because we get free money from relative and our parents’ friends and we get to have a long holiday.

I have learned that gambling during Chinese New Year can get me more cash than doing all the visitations. Yeah I get it that we’re still in economy recession so naturally people will give less money to you, oh well, better than none right?

So let me just share with yours how did I celebrate my Chinese New Year.

Day 1

Is it just me or the weather is madly hot? Even when I’m stuck in the air-cond room, I still sweated like shit. Staying at home isn’t a good idea because we don’t really have visitors, our relatives aren’t really close with us. My parents and I went out to have breakfast together, and because many Chinese restaurants are closed, we ended up settling at an Indian restaurant.

After that, dad dropped my mom and I at my grandfather’s house, it would be more fun if my grandma is still alive because it’s really sweet to see her welcoming me happily and I get to eat her scrumptious dishes! Grandma is someone who loves her house to be filled with laughter and celebration, so even she’s gone, it doesn’t mean the house should be quiet, we invited her friends over to gamble. And it’s my first time gambling with my mom around as normally she wouldn’t encourage me to take part in this activity, but knowing that I’m old enough to know the limit, she didn’t even make noise when I join the crowd.

It was Blackjack we were playing, oh wait, is that even Blackjack because to win money, you gotta get 8 or 9 points, here we call it “Siam Banlak”, I couldn’t find the exact term of it so I’m sure most of y’all know what I’m saying. There’s no skill to this game, it’s based purely on luck. So if you’re lucky, you would win a lot of cash, if you’re not, of course you have to lose.

I got quite lucky on that day and I earned some bucks back and honestly, gambling can really kill time! You won’t even realize how time passes that fast, in a blink of an eye it’s already midnight! And yes! We were glued to the chair as the game can get really addictive! Plus of course I won too, if I keep losing, I would be requesting to go home and get online instead. LOL

Day 2

Soon as I got to know that the gamblers wanna have a round 2, I tagged along too! This time I refuse to bring all the cash I won on day 1 because I can’t stand losing so I brought 50 bucks. Today, my luck has gone down to drain! I kept losing! So I had to take break and decided to visit a friend of mine who stay not so far from my grandma’s place.

I hung around at her place, ate whatever she cooked, had a small chat with her mom and received red packets from her mom and brothers.

I went back again and I decided to try again gambling since I had nothing to do, and magically I had good luck again! And I swept away quite a big amount of cash. So basically I spent my entire day 2 gambling again. And just when you wanna call me a gambler, you’re dead wrong, because… my Day 3 is different!

Day 3

Again, the gamblers are up for a round 3, but this time I refused to turn up. Because I strongly believe that my luck won’t stay with me all the time, since I won quite a lot on Day 2. I’m not going to lose em, and I don’t wanna bet on it so I decided it’s time to meet up with my sisters instead. It was another crazy gathering filled with laughter and crazy talk. Time passes so fast when you’re having a great time! Gah! And I’m already entering day 4 of Chinese New Year, the hype is no longer there, I think it’s time for me to begin doing my reading.

—

On a serious note, I will never encourage my readers to be a gambler, if it’s just once a year by all means go ahead, know your limit and not to be so greedy. Shit happens all the time!

So how did you celebrate your Chinese New Year?

It’s been awhile since I received hate comments, back in the days when my blogs have quite a number of readers, it’s inevitable that within 100 people, 10 people will be hating me. I don’t blame these people because it was me who chose to be a little controversial, of course some hate comments do turn out to be really hurtful when it involves personal attacks but oh well, there’s nothing I can do but to just curse that they would freaking rot right now cry out loud alone.

Anyway, today was rather special! I received a hate message in my Facebook, someone in the name of “Eric Dave” decided to blast me with really colorful messages. Calling me names, labeling me as “faggot” and so on, I was thinking it would be something creative but blah, another boring shit.

So we exchanged our beautiful greetings and he revealed that he knows me as my reputation precedes me and told me the college I’m from. Well get updated dude/babe, I have left the college long ago and you only blast me today? Come on… And you know what’s the best part?

The person barely has any friends in the profile, and he/she does not even upload a profile picture. But I’m saying it’s a dude because my 7th sense told me it is. And I think it’s not something difficult to figure out who it is. And surely this person has a real account of his own, this is just a sham one to flood hate messages.

So what do I do in return? I reported that guy and blocked him. Do I have to figure out who that is? No, because it’s ridiculous! But here’s something I wanna say, I really don’t resent you for writing those stuff to me, but when you mentioned “your reputation precedes you…” I kinda liked it because I’m flattered, you’re calling me popular, even if it’s in a bad way (ie: being notorious), at least I’m known by people.

I won’t be shy to reveal that I do aim to be a popular person, but I won’t whore for the fame, I’d rather make good use of my talent first, and your hate message is gonna be like a training for me, because I know, the day when thousands of people know about me, I can imagine the kind of comments being spawned. I do get affected a little but sadly you can’t even break me down.

Nice attempt, “Eric”.